so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
