Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he puts the penis in happiness.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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