That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
