Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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