SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
