You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
