You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
420 ftw
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
