I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
