You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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