naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
