Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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