he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
