Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
