Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
