Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
