So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
