I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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