These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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