8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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