So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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