did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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