I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
