I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
