Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
