i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize