its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize