Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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