The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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