ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
