Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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