I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
