Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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