Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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