I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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