So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
