Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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