i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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