Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
false alarm, still single
Randomize