So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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