Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
