yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
