you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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