Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
whose ass print is on the piano?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
