Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
