So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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