And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
