i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
