doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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