In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
