I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
