Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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