he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
