bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
