you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
