remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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