I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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