I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
