My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
