I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
